Wednesday, February 21, 2007

239: Awake, O Spring!

To say that I tend to have unbridled bouts of obsession would be an understatement. As I mentioned in my previous post, on Valentine's Day I ventured out in an ice storm to be awaken with Spring Awakening. The chain of events that lead me to the Eugene O'Neill Theater went something like this:

On Friday the 9th...
Being bombarded with the TV advertisement of the said musical every late night for nearly the entire week leads me to finally seek the iTunes store for the cast recording. Sampling a few songs inevitably lands me to open my wallet. The night peaks and reverberates with purple sounds of Duncan Sheik and blue lyrics of Steven Sater. And I just realize, I don't know what the previous sentence really means.

In the early hours of Saturday the 10th...
Having listened to the album a few... hundreds of times and having read several reviews, I buy into the hype. I'm sold faster... yes, I am had quicker than Renée was with Tom Cruise's hello. The homepage announces that there are seats that are on stage. Stage seats! I click the link to Tickets. They are affordable. And before I lay myself to sleep, one seat is eventually mine. The crazed, red eyed monster is appeased.

On Sunday...
As God decreed, I rest.

On Lincoln's Birthday...
Feelings of agitation, anxiety, and anticipation ascend to a fever pitch, because April 25 is too far away. And behold, a friend of mine informs me that her company, unlike my cheap ass one, provides their employees with perks, such as discounted theatre tickets. Should I use it? Should I try to see the show earlier than April 25?

On Valentine's Day...
I'm in row B, four seats in from the right aisle. And I get to see every saliva projectile launched out of Jonathan Groff's mouth, and not to mention, his bare ass, TWICE.

Today...
I'm still obsessed with the show... and the cast... and the music... What can I say, I am a fan. But like all my other obsessions, this too will fade, and I'll be back to being normal. But in the meantime, I'm going to watch David Letterman tonight to watch the cast perform.

Oh, for the funniest synopsis of the musical, click here.

Monday, February 19, 2007

238: Loveless in New York

A friend of mine suggested that I go to a Valentine's Day party hosted by the good people of lovetastic.com. Well, I didn't go. But I did check out the site and read a few funny profiles. So, I was inspired to write one too. And I decided that I would share some of what I wrote. Here it is:

The Essay

Simply put, I’m a sap. It’s in my blood. But don’t worry, you don’t need to pass me the tissue. Because the thing is, I tend to pit my heart against my head for a battle royale.

I’m a believer of action speaks louder than words. But the thing is, talking is an action, isn’t it? So, now I feel conflicted.

Oh, if ignorance is bliss, why do they say the unexamined life is not worth living? I don’t know, I still think bliss is found in ignorance. Come on, do we really need to know that Britney shaved her head?

I’m a glass is half full kind of a guy. But I once heard a comedian (I forget his name) say that glass being half full might not be a good thing. That it depends on what’s in the glass. And seriously, he makes a valid point. I sure don’t want a glass half full of sh*t. In fact, I know I don’t want that glass at all.

It’s important to know what one wants in life. But is it really dumb to say, "I’ll know it when I see it!"? Eh, I guess I have to quote George Michael by saying, "I gotta have faith," and be done with it.

Anyways, can I ask beg you, Dear Readers, to join as well? Because if you do, we, as in you and me, get, uh, whole two weeks of free subscription. Supposedly the subscription lets you email the members. If you don't have it, you'd have no way of letting the guy know you are interested in him, and then have the guy tell you to f*ck off, or worse, ignore you. So use this link, https://lovetastic.com/friends/TIAQU and sign up! Do it for me. Because you want me to be happy, right?

Right?!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

237: Bah, Humbug!

Reliable sources inform me that today is some special day for couples. I hear that these couples exchange gifts with one another, like flowers, candies, chocolates, cards, etc., as a demonstration of their love for one another. This bizarre behavior goes further: some couples go out to town for a romantic night out.

Well, on this stormy day in New York, I wish for these couples to not... I don't know, get splashed with cold murky water by a cabby aiming to zoom down the street with the intent to hit every puddle he can. No, we certainly wouldn't want that. Besides, it's snowing. Oh wait, I know. I wish for these happy couples to NOT slip on a patch of ice and fall, cracking their heads, resulting in a trip to the emergency room and having to wait for hours to see a disgruntled doctor to suture their gashed heads. No, we most definitely don't want that. No, we don't.

But you know, I'm not going to be sad about my single-hood. I'm not going to go home and waste away the night watching TV feeling sorry for myself.
Cuz ya’ know
I don’t do sadness
Not even a little bit
Just don’t need it in my life
Yes, what I intend on doing is trek on over to the Eugene O'Neill Theater to watch the boy who sings that refrain. Yours Truly will go alone to watch a Broadway Musical, Spring Awakening! And you know what? It's going to be awesome. Some may even say, FABULOUS. And I'd have to agree. So, YAY me!!! YAY to the single me!!!
Cuz ya’ know
I don’t do sadness
Not even a little bit
Just don’t need it in my life

Sunday, February 11, 2007

236: Chill, Dude!

Chill, Dude! What's up?!
So it's chilly. So what?
Here have some chili.

Chili! It heats you up!

***
Obviously, I'm not in advertising. Anyhoo...

***
From a far yonder, a voice called out and it commanded, "Goeth forth and maketh chili."

"My Dear Queen," I replied, "I doeth not knowth the way of boiling beans, meat, and spices." Continuing on, "how can I, a humble servant, obey?"

"Seek and Ye shall find," reminded the voice. And like a puff of Glade® Wisp® Scented Oil, the voice disappeared. Shaking out of a foggy, yet fragrant, haze, I sprung into action, eagerly and earnestly, seeking, searching to savor the magical elixir of beans, meat, and spices. And like GE Edison™ light bulb, my mind illuminated.

Yes, I have found the perfect way to make my chili!

With my wallet, I ventured out to the cold. Weaving past the obstacles we, the royal "we," call stupid New York pedestrians, which by the way, I'm proud to be one, I ended up at an entrance where a red-headed girl smiles. At the counter, I exchanged my money (a little more than a Washington) for the ingredients for my special chili.

Recipe:
1 small Wendy's chili with cheese
2 packets of Hot sauce
1 packet of crackers

Directions:
Open the lid. Tear up the hot sauce packets and squeeze every drop into the cup. Keeping the packet intact, crumple the crackers with your hand. Open the packet and pour in the cracker crumbs. Stir with Wendy's plastic spoon, making sure to mix the chili, the hot sauce, the cracker crumbs, and the cheese thoroughly. Finally, partake!

And the tummy was satisfied, and all Queen's people said: Ah, chili.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

235: Seriously?

Seriously!

I almost missed my anniversary. But I didn't! YAY

This blog is two years old. YAY

Although I've not been very consistent with my writing, this little site has entered its Terrible Two's. YAY

What does that mean? Will fullofhype throw frequent tantrums? Will fullofhype be petulant? YAY

Here's to another year of writing! YAY

Seriously!

***
Oh, today is when LOST returns with 16 new episodes. YAY

Sunday, February 04, 2007

234: Deranged

Did you know that you're merely a product of an imagination?

Douglas Adams, in his second book of the "Hitchhiker's" series, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe," speculates... Well, he doesn't speculate so much as asserts:
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
I find comfort in the words. Before I elaborate, consider this:

Did you note that Douglas Adams does not specify of whose imagination the "people you may meet from time to time" are the products?

But there's really no sense in you trying to figure out whose imagination Douglas Adams was referring to, because I already know the answer. Isn't it obvious? It's my imagination. You are merely a product of my imagination.

And I find comfort. I'm comforted because everyone loves... no, worships me. But because I want to be humble, I imagined the vast majority of people to pretend not to worship me, and in fact, I imagined them to ignore me and treat me like a total stranger. Seriously, I can totally wipe everyone out. Even you!

There! You don't exist.

And voila! You exist again.

What will you do without me? Oh yes, nothing. Why? Because you are merely a product of my imagination.

Ah... I find comfort. I'm comforted because there's no true rejection, and conversely, there's no true acceptance. There's really nothing. Only I exist. I am. I just am.

Holy SHIT! I'm GOD!

Don't worry, peons. I will keep my powers in check until I die. You won't have to love me. You won't have to worship me. You won't even have to search me to find meanings to your little lives. Besides, most of you won't ever search. And for those of you who search, you'll most likely (in environmental scientists' term, that's 90%) ignore the truth. But that's A-Ok. I like my world this way. Besides, you are merely a product of my imagination. (Repetition helps. You'll retain it better.)

Yes, I find comfort. I'm comforted...