139: Here's My Two

I'm... I am temporarily taking myself out of my blogoliday (I used to teach English to Japanese high school students, so I can make up words!) just to respond to my "about-a-month-and-counting long" blog crush's recent posts: this and this, because I also feel that I need to clarify my position. (Although I could just shut up since no one hurled any hate e-mails my way or asked for my "Gay Membership Card" back for believing something that amends the statement: "gay is genetic," I won't.)

So, here's my two cents:

I am a queer because I am a queer. (I do not discount nature; my brethrens and I are in agreement.)

And I am a queer because of how I grew up. (Very controversial, I know! I strongly believe nurture affects the person you are. It may be that some of my brethrens seem to ignore/minimize/deny this view because of the current political and cultural war waged in America.)

I would never say that being gay wasn't genetic. But I think it's a part of the equation—a very significant part. And most of you would agree that what I'm saying isn't new.

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Consider this: some women are predisposed to some rapid and uncontrolled cell growths in their breasts—they have the "breast cancer genes," but they may live their entire lives without ever having to suffer from the disease; some women do not have the genes, yet they need a mastectomy and chemotherapy. (By the way, if there's any confusion, I am in no way, no how equating being gay is the same as living with (and then perhaps dying from) an "abnormal" state.)

Also, we haven't even found a so-called "gay gene."

So, how can we then give so must credence solely to genetics?

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And no, I do not think there is just one "gay gene.” A gene usually expresses a state that's either is or is not; on or off; black or white (in the figurative sense), with no shades of gray in the middle. Clearly our experiences and observations in the Human population have taught us that, in human sexuality, there isn't a clear break from gay to straight (see Kinsey). And even biology has taught us that: multiples genes influence the vast array of differences in a trait; for example, your eye color. Then, something as complex as human sexuality cannot be dismissed as something controlled only by just one gene. Even in an evolutionary point of view, if such a "gene" existed, nature would have whittled it away from the population, provided that gays, the absolute polar opposite to the straights, would not breed, because he or she is unable to or unwilling to do a little dance.

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The examples I'm giving aren't to discount that being gay is genetic. Heaven be damned, should some misguided fundamentalist says that there are gays who believe that being gay is a lifestyle choice and that they can change, and that I am one of those delusional gays. No, I don't want to hear that I can happily be married to a woman with two kids, a dog, and a picket fence around my house, living the ultimate American suburban NIGHTMARE!

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All I am saying is that genetics is not the end to human sexuality; it's definitely a start. Yes, I believe our sexuality starts with multiple genes working in concert or perhaps some working against some to make you the sexual being you are. But a trait that’s controlled by multiple genes, the expressivity and penetrance of genes, and their combinatory effects, affect its outcome. A colony of E. coli with a lac operon living on a Petri dish with glucose as their main source of energy will have its lac operon muted; a colony of E. coli with a lac operon living on a Petri dish with lactose as their main source of energy will have its lac operon functioning. Yes, we must look at the environment.

We must also take heed that in biology, and it’s a fascinating aspect of it, that there always are exceptions to the rule. A certain stimulus that elicits a certain response from an organism may not elicit the same response from another organism, even if they are the same species. These variables in the equation make it hard to say that one who grew up a certain way will be one thing and another who grew up another way will be another. Or saying that both who grew up a certain way will end up the same would be absurd.

I grew up with an absent father and an overprotective, controlling mother. But ours was a very traditional Korean household, with my uncles and older male cousins acting the surrogate male role models. Some of whom had… well… When I was a child, I was molested—and I liked it, because it was their display of love; and when I was a child, I molested other boys (and a girl) younger than me—and I liked it, because it was my display of love. I got caught; I was reprimanded. Like Adam and Eve, my shame was exposed. I hated myself. I found forgiveness in the church, and I suppressed all things sexual about myself, believing I must be something I am not to be forgiven and loved. Indeed I shouldn't be a molester, but a homosexual? I don’t know, I could have been very successful living that life, and I’d have died a heterosexual. But I found the gay blogosphere and heard from it many voices showing me the true face of God, gracious and loving. Again, I say, I don’t know… I wonder if I had been nurtured some other way, would my true natural tendency—minus the inappropriate hands—had found expression and penetration early on, as I wish it had?

You see, when we do start to look at how nurture, including all aspects of nurture, the controllable and the uncontrollable facets of our surroundings, can strengthen or weaken our natural tendencies, now then, when we truly ponder this, We, the humankind, who hold life’s many diversities and mysteries, We indeed are the true image of God.

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And now, back to my regularly scheduled blogoliday. :-)