I have to say somehow my dad's side of family seem to produce a higher number of crazies. Yes, I have crazy relatives. And I want to have nothing to do with any of them. While my dad will go the extra mile to accomodate his brothers and sisters and their families, I could care less about them. I will never go to them for help, and I expect the same courtesy.
Okay, I admit, perhaps, I'm being too harsh. I don't really feel that way for all my relatives from my dad's side. It's just a select few that irks me to no end. And there are still a few I haven't met, so I shouldn't judge them...just yet.
It's just that today, correction: last night, I was dragged to an event where my crazy cousin (my dad's sister's daughter), whom I had never met before until, unfortunately for me, now, and who is almost twice my age, gave an "inspirational" speech. What a laugh! Yes, I was inspired to never ever become like her. However much my great uncle (my dad's uncle), whom I call "grandpa," admires her "achievements" and wants me to emulate her, I will never ever become like her.
I congratulate her success, but she's formed a little cult with her own immediate family. All her children were adopted, and I seriously think she brain-washed them into worshipping her. She has a little personality cult centered around her like Kim Jung Il does in North Korea. Not only her family duped, but she's been successful in duping countless others, thus having a following. How was she able to garner herself loyal followers? you may ask. Well, if I give you that information, you may be able to find out her identity... Let's just say that I can tell you, but I have to kill you. Seriously, it's best that you not find out about her. Well, it's in my best interest that you not find out about her. I'm being honest here.
Well, let me describe to you what her "pep" talk was like. We were bombarded for 30 minutes of a video of her hobnobbing with the rich and the powerful. Also we saw clip after clip of her giving a talk to an enraptured crowd in a full auditorium; these poor fools were totally falling for her crap! It was such an effective propaganda tool in self promotion, akin to being masturbatory: it made me want to gouge out my own eyes and cut off my own ears. I'm sorry, but I can't stand people who are so full of themselves. Then came the actual talk. It was, well, how can I delicately put it, oh yes, POINTLESS. It was the inanest speech I've heard. Let me summarize it for you: "this fabulous 'me' who stands before you had a hard life growing up, but I was just 'me' and God blessed 'me,' and now this 'me' is very successful. And you, too, can be just like 'me.'" Just be like you and I'll be monetarily rich? What kind of bullshit is that? Granted a slight green eye in me might be making me trash talk my cousin, but come on! If success means, having the lamest catchphrase ever conceived, and duping people into paying me to speak nonsense, then...
Hold up, what am I saying? I should emulate her completely! Fuck it, I'll be vapid and superficial, and not to mention, self-centered. Then, I'll have a fabulous, but empty, life. Who cares if I have no substance? If I have you loving me (in the form of cash), I'll be forever happy.
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