Okay, people, I'm going to do a live blogging to... um, celebrate the 78th Annual Academy Awards. Just because I'm bored, and goddammit, this is important! *lol* So, at every important point, I'll pipe in with my observations. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.
7:48PM
People are entering the Kodak Theater. Critics are weighing in on which film will take the big price. It's either BROKEBACK or CRASH. I have to agree. And Keira Knightley looks hot; Felicity Huffman has just gotten va-klempt because her Desperate Wives co-stars wished her good luck. Wow, the girl can act!
8:00PM
The show has started and I'm watching it on my HDTV. I think it was a smart choice for the Academy to get Jon Stewart to host the show. It's not just about returning to the old glamour and glitze of Hollywood, but about exposing Middle America to the diversity and beauty of life. George Clooney (SYRIANA) won the first award of the night for Actor in a Supporting Role. George, I have to agree with you, there goes your chance of winning Best Directing. But you know what? Your speech is right on! Sure, Hollywood is out of touch with the rest of the country. But when the rest of the country is backward, we need Art to tell us the truth. Although, Hollywood really isn't a bastion for Art.
My score: 0/1
8:29PM
Ben Stiller cracks me up! KING KONG wins for Visual Effects! My first prediction that turn out true! But it's a category I don't care much about, hence it's useless, so blah, blah, blah... Now, Reese Witherspoon is announcing the winner for Best Animated Feature: WALLACE & GROMIT wins. Nice bowties! Now, Dolly is singing. "From Dollywood to Hollywood!" Groan. But I'm kind of liking "Travelin' Thru." OMG, what's wrong with me?
My score: 2/3
8:42PM
C'mon people! Jon Stewart's Scientology joke was funny. You need to laugh more! Okay, back to the awards. For Live Action Short, who did I choose again? Who cares! So, SIX SHOOTER wins. Oh, I didn't pick this one. Moving on. As for Animated Short: THE MOON AND THE SON: AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION wins. Hmm, none of the choices won. But, an NYU guy won and he's gay, so I won't complain then. Jennifer Aniston is working it! She's announcing the winner for Best Costume Design. MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA! Yeah, I got one right! She just thanked the people of Japan. Wow, the entire people of a country gets a thank you. That seems like a first, no? What's the point of Russell Crowe's spiel? Historical figures portrayed in movies? I don't get it.
My score: 3/6
8:57PM
Will Ferrell and Steve Carell are up and they've entered the stage wearing some ridiculous make up. Nice make up job. Ha ha ha, I get it, you're here to present the Best Make Up award. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA wins! Yeah, although I didn't pick you to win. Now, I'm below 50% here. Oh, they're going to talk about the Geek awards, now. I'm going to take my bathroom break now. I almost missed it. The winner of Actress in a Supporting Role is Rachel Weisz (THE CONSTANT GARDENER). Since, a Brit won, all the rest of acting awards will be given out to Americans now, right?
My score: 3/8
9:15PM
I'm ignoring the whole black and white movie montage thing... I love the negative campaign ads for the Actress for a Leading Role. The winner for Documentary Short goes to A NOTE OF TRIUMPH: THE GOLDEN AGE OF NORMAN CORWIN. Something I'll never see, ever. Yawn. Charlize, what are you wearing? The puffy thing is not speaking to me at all. She's announced the winner: MARCH OF THE PENGUINS for best Documentary Feature. Thank you. Finally, I get something right. They've brought cute penguin dolls; I want one. Why did they show Morgan Freeman looking lost and confused while the French people were saying their thank you's? Hiya, J.LO. Damn! She's introducing "In the Deep," the song I've picked to win Best Song. But can I change my choice? Even though, I think this will win, because it's a safe Oscar choice, still, can I change my choice?
My score: 4/10
9:32PM
It's the "I know Kung Fu" guy and Miss Congeniality here to announce Best Art Direction. I think I've picked a loser, looking at the set designs from other movies. Let's see who'll win. It's MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA. The love affair for Japan continues. Will the entire people of this island nation get thanked again for having their not-so-unique architecture? Guess not. Anyways, ah, a jedi master! Sam Jackson enters and is now talking about how Hollywood tackles big issues that ail our society: racism, sexism, agism, feminism, anti-semiticism, another montage-ism. Sigh. Let me just ignore the President of the Academy who'll probably talk about why movies matter. Let me work on my entry... I'm back. Oh, oh, oh, it's Salma Hayek and Itzhak Perlman. Damn, that man can play the violin! C'mon, give me a hit! Best Score goes to... BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Gracias! I get another right! Wow, this time, the winner just thanked his whole country, Argentina. First, it was a people of a country that got thanked, and now, it's a country.
My score: 5/12
9:56PM
We're at the half way point, hopefully. Oh, Jake~y!!! I can't quit you, too. This time, it's about the epics. Yes, Hollywood loves to make epic films. Must I suffer yet another montage? Thank you, Jon Stewart, for making fun of the montages. OMG, Jessical Alba is hot, hot, hot! Of course, Eric Bana, the Hulk, in a hunk. They're giving the Oscar to KING KONG for best Sound Mixing. They're the team that won for THE LORD OF THE RING. But must you guys need to make a Kiwi reference? Dumb Kiwis. It's Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin. I love them. Their banter has to be the highlight of this show. They are such great actors and they're giving a tribute to Robert Altman. I'm happy that Robert Altman is getting an Honorary Oscar. I think his movies are great studies of human behaviors and conditions. Oh, I didn't know he had a heart transplant. I thought he was going to thank the family of the dead woman and the dead woman for giving him a new lease in life. Guess not! Use your heart wisely, Robert Altman.
My score: 5/13
10:17PM
It's Ludicris! And for the first time, a rap song is going to be performed on an Oscar stage: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." Again, can I change my safe bet choice and go for the hard edge one? Seriously, for an industry that celebrates diversity, so far all the winners have been... white! Maybe Ang Lee will be the token minority to win an award. Every Oscar award show needs one token minority... But wait, Ang Lee's not American, is he? Sure, foreigners tend to win Oscars, but when I talk about minorities, I mean, those Americans of the hyphenated persuasion, m'kay? When, Lord, will Asian-Americans be represented? The Queen is here to bestow an Oscar. It goes to "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" (HUSTLE & FLOW). So, I get it. They're the token minority to win an Oscar. Yeah. Diversity wins one. Jon Stewart is showing another campaign ad. I love those ads. Now, here comes Jennifer Gardner and she's almost got knocked out/tripped? Anyways, KING KONG wins Best Sound Editing. Peter Jackson's team is yet again racking in the technical awards. Mr. Academy Award winner Clooney is on stage to introduce the In Memoriam montage. You know how I'm feeling about the montages now, so here I am polishing my post notes.
My score: 5/15
10:38PM
Fresh Prince just said, "What happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok?" Are you kidding me? Well, at least, my pick for Best Foreign Film, TSOTSI, won. By the way, We're really loving our countries and continents tonight, aren't we? The whole entire continent got thanked! And what a passionate thank you. Long Live Africa, indeed! Best Film Editing goes to CRASH! Another win for yours truly. Here's Hillary Swank. Will there be a big surprise in the Actor in a Leading role category? Philip, I'm rooting for you, man. Although, I sorta want Heath to win. But you've had the better gay role. Hillary is opening the envelope and... Philip (CAPOTE) wins!
Will he bark? I heard from somewhere that he said that if he were to win, he would bark. Maybe I'm misinformed, but will he?
My score: 8/18
10:54PM
It's still not over yet? I'm dying here. John Travolta just announced the winner for Cinematography: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA? Seriously? What? That's a surprise. Well, it did win best Art Direction. You need beautiful scenaries to capture beautiful images, I guess. Stll, wow. Mr. Foxx crowns Reese Witherspoon (WALK THE LINE) with Best Actress in a Leading Role. I love Reese. As predicted, she wins. And can I tell you, I was nervous that she might forget to thank her cute hubby, Ryan Phillippe.
My score: 9/20
11:07PM
This live blogging thing is hard. It's hard to come up with witty things to say, especially when there's nothing funny happening in this show. It's so subdued. Well, Dustin Hoffman... It's Dustin Hoffman. Let's give it up to the losers: I'm paraphrasing. Yessir, you won't be asked back. Whatever! You're Dustin Hoffman, the Academy will always need you. Anyways, the Oscar for best Adapted Screenplay went to BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. I didn't pick it, but I'm stoked that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN takes it for writing. Uma Thurman. What can I say about Uma? Well CRASH wins best Original Screenplay. No surprise there.
My score: 10/22
11:19PM
I think the show will end before midnight. OMG! That's a first, no? Tom Hanks need to cut his hair or something. Ang Lee (BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN) wins Best Directing. That is truly awesome! He made a nice speech in support of love, even gay ones. And yet again, more countries get thanked. I want to be a country, so that I'd be thanked. Okay, here we are: Best Picture. It's been a long night. Jack Nicholson will announce the winner. Will there be a huge surprise? Like last year's upset, MILLION DOLLAR BABY's triumph over THE AVIATOR? Apparently, Yup! CRASH wins! CRASH wins! As social issues go, racism trumps gay struggle. Apparently, Oscar is not gay.
Well, this concludes my live blogging. I'm beat. My score card didn't fair well either. Anyways, good night. Less than 50%.
My final score: 11/24
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