094: T-Shirts

Okay, I was inspired by her to write this post. And when I say, "was inspired by," I really mean, "copied from." But, whatever, right?

You see, I do need some new T-shirts. And in all seriousness, I can't decide what I should get. All the T-shirt designs below speak to me, speak to the person I am. They are clever; but some, I know, I won't be able to pull off wearing them. Let me begin by showing you what I won't get.

Well, because it's too obvious and um...gay.

As for this one...
Never, no way, not this one... well, because I'm afraid most girls would retort back saying, "Oh, honey, there's nothing to be sorry about. You were never EVER in the running in the first place." Which, in a way, is fine, but why open yourself up to such...um, an unnecessary humiliation?

However, I like this one, and is in the running:
It has a right amount of self-loathing I can be proud of.

Alas, this one, too:
This one is like a giant, garish neon sign pointing to one of my greatest fears. I wonder, you know, at times, out loud—because I'm crazy like that—whether the walls I put up against those who I consider friends are due to my fear that if they get to know me more intimately than they do now, they'd learn that I have nothing to offer them, that I can't be a good friend to them, because, face it, there will always be someone better, someone who can give what I can't give, however hard I may try, and ultimately, they will leave me; I'd be left alone. Why risk such... um, a desperate loneliness?

This not-so-secret fear of mine, by the way, applies to "relationship" as well. Will I ever be ready to have me a BF? Whatever! Moving on...

This one, well, I've actually said to a third party. A friend asked why I was not interested in a girl who obviously had a huge crush on me. My cryptic reply was thus:
Replace the "you" with "her." Anyways, she was beautiful, nice, wonderful, laidback; and had a great sense of humor, which I think most people interpret as the girl being fat, but she wasn't. I mean, people, she was perfect in every way. Except one. Surely, had I lied long enough and forced myself to pursue a relationship with her, it would have been ruination of both our lives.

Let's move on, it's been too introspective. Besides, I've three more to show.

I've often wondered, again, out loud, about this one. Indeed, who's with the Asian men? What do we get?

Now at the other end of my bipolar disorder, the manic side, (as an aside, I like pointing out the obvious, the blatant ones the better,) I can assure you that once I'm one hundred percent committed, he—whoever he may be—HE, will know the truth:

But then again, I think I like the idea of pissing off scores and scores of grade schoolers with this:

Well, I can't decide. Which T-shirt should I get?