101: Men!

As a man, I have had a hard time understanding women. Then again, I still do. What is it that they say? Women: you can't live with them; you can't live without them. But this post isn't about my inability to understand the fairer sex.

It's just that, now, I'm finding it hard, as well, to understand men. Um, gay men, to be more precise.

Okay, it's not like I've met a lot of gay men in my life time. I mean, besides the very few I befriended in blogosphere, the corporeal gay people I've met in my life... well, I've always kept them at an arms length.

1. In 7th grade, a boy offers to show me what a blow job is. He takes me aside to a dark alley and tells me to drop my pants. I freak and run, Forrest Gump style. He and I never speak to each other ever again.

2. In high school, there is this openly gay, Asian dude, who's, well, very open. Pink triangle stickers, a rainbow colored ring, an "Act Up, Fight AIDS" T-shirt, and what not. Like most homophobic Asian boys, my friends and I stay clear away from him.

3. In college, I've taken voice lessons from a guy I figured to be, but wasn't sure if he was or not a 'mo. A friend of mine, who had graduated a year before and had taken lessons from him, comes back to school for a visit. During our lunch date, she tells me that she'd heard from the voice coach that I was taking lessons from him, and she says: "you know he is gay, right?" Then she follows with: "are you gay?" It's an unexpected transition that leaves me, well, reeling. Inevitably, I stop going to his voice lessons.

4. In Japan...

5. Now back in NYC, I am hanging out with a gay co-worker. However affluent his background is, he has had a difficult life. He's faced rejection from the ones who are suppose to love him unconditionally, and he's come out self-reliant and hard. Some may call him "bitchy." Hell, I would. I mean, I think I understand him... Damn, I think he and I are a lot alike, but it still doesn't make it easy for me to open up to him. (Or to anybody, for that matter.)

But one thing that I don't get is, I thought we were becoming friends... Yet why would he do something so underhanded at work to me?

I don't want to think too much about it. Or even talk about it. I'm done. Let's all just look at pretty boys.