084: I Left My Heart in...

...hmmm, wrong city. There really isn't a song about Seattle, is there? Well, I had hope to regale you with tales of adventure, mystery, comedy, romance, and what-have-you, but, people, it's me.

But anyways, let me just share with you what I wrote in my journal.

August 28, 2005

Another beautiful day wasted here in Seattle... I guess dynamics of friendship will always change with distance and time. Don't get me wrong; it was great seeing J, his fiancée, and G. But I could never find an opportune time to let them know about me. Somehow I fear that telling them will forever change the way they look at me, and that's something I don't want. But then again, my mind doesn't know what it wants. If ignorance is bliss, why change a good thing? But whatever. Whatever! I tend to say that a lot, but whatever. Let's let it pass. The thing is what I've always wanted was a brother, a friendship so deep, so easy, that I can be who I am with him. Maybe, J and G are not the ones who can fulfill that for me. Perhaps I expect too much from people...

Welcome back to my blog post. I figure an explanation is needed, but I don't know how to start. (Rather, I don't feel like it.)

Besides friendship is overrated. Case in point, I refer you to this post. The silence really is deafening.

You know what? What one really needs is a lover. Clarification: What I need is a lover. Hmm... lover. What a funny word.

Anyways, any suggestions? AND by everything good and holy, if anyone mentions gay.com, I swear I'll hunt you down and bitch slap you so hard, the famous rotating head scene from The Exorcist will seem tame in comparison! (Ok, that felt good, a nonsensical emotional outburst against something I don't really care about... Sorry gay.com, You Are Not the Target.)

Fuck it! I need to get drunk.

083: There's No Place Like Home...I Guess

I'm back!!! It's 6:03 in the morning, and I've just gotten in, and like, I've had only, like, less than three hours of sleep, like, on a plane, and like, it was really, really, really uncomfortable, and like, I need coffee, like, real bad, and like I have work today, like, and I don't wanna go, but like, still I need to get ready, and like, it's going to suck. It's really, really, really hard.

Hug?

...

Well, once I'm more settled, I hope to regale you with tales of...nothing, just absolutely nothing. So, stay tune.

082: A Weekend Getaway

Most New Yorkers, I suppose, drive to the beaches of Long Island or New Jersey to get away for the weekend. I, however, am not most New Yorkers. Friday, after work, I must get myself to JFK to catch my 7:00 pm flight. I scheduled a SuperShuttle van to pick me up in SoHo at 4:30 pm. Hopefully, the traffic won't be too bad and I'll make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. But knowing my luck... we'll see.

Anyways, Seattle, just you wait; here comes Jake with some wild oats to sow! Eh, not really, but whatever.

Wish me bon voyage!

081: Going Commando

Again.

I'm not wearing underwear today...

Well, it was really yesterday. I told another friend about my blog. I haven't heard back from her, though. Hmm... I'm not fazed.

Inch by inch I'm slowly opening the door. I was never for a grandiose, spotlight-is-on-me, dramatic enter stage center. Although I've been told it would be better to do it all at once, you know, telling my friends about me, I want to hear what each person I tell has to say on the matter on a one-to-one basis. Think Monica and Chandler. One by one each of their friends found out about them. Think of the potential comedy that can ensue when one friend who knows encounters another friend who knows, but they can't talk about me, because they both swore they wouldn't discuss it with our other friends. Just like Joey and Rachael. Don't you think it'll be fun?

***

A random question:

Do you think an unexamined life is as blissful as ignorance? Or do you think living in ignorance is as not worthwhile as an unexamined life?

080: Don't Tell Anyone, But...

...somehow, I have in my hand a copy of Death Cab for Cutie's new album, Plans. And, it's not even released yet. I'm listening to it as I'm typing, and I have to say, it's good.

That is all.

079: La Famiglia

Like the recent Harry Potter book, it is incumbent on me, I strongly feel, to provide you, my dear three readers, with what I hope to be a pithy exposition; then I shall feel more than ready to begin to tell the tale of la famiglia.

The Korean family.
The first question should be: what is it?

The simple answer is what most of us are used to: a unit of individuals made up of at least one parent and one child. (See: nuclear family) Whether you are an Albanian or a Zimbabwean, I'm sure we can all agree on this definition.

But for a traditional Korean family, the nuclear family tends to be extended to include at least one paternal grandparent, and your father's brother and his nuclear family. (See: extended nuclear family)

I've been debating with myself for some good thirty minutes, deciding on which word would be apropos to begin the next sentence, and invariably the word that I've chosen, the word that seems right to me, is to follow right after the ellipsis... Unfortunately, due to the fact my grandparents fucked like bunnies, I've five uncles (and two aunts—according to tradition, a woman shouldn't be counted as your family because once she marries she leaves the family to become a member of her husband's). Considering that they've their own nuclear families, my extended nuclear family is HUGE. When I was a child growing up in Korea, having uncles and aunts-in-law who constantly doted on you, and cousins who were less like cousins and more like brothers and sisters, having them around was a joyful blessing. But now... not so much. Could the distaste I have for my family stem from their ceaseless and baseless worrying about me aging without a respectable profession that brings in the Benjamins to support the parents and, this is the catcher, me being still single? Hells Yeah. Wait, wait... I shall acknowledge and agree with those of you who will say that it's nice to have around people who care for you, but when they all tell me to hurry up and become a doctor, so that they can set me up with a nice girl. Umm... No, thank you. And why is it that I have to become a doctor or have a career first for them to set me up? It makes me wonder about their priorities in life, and please excuse the lack of literary elegance, but it just makes me sad. But fortunately, they are far and away from me, with most of them still in Korea and some who are living in America staying a comfortable distance away in the Left Coast.

From here, we enter the realm of "extended family," contrasted with "extended nuclear family." So far, I've describe my family in a POV centered around me. But when we deal with the extended family one must view the family unit with a parent-centric POV. My dad's grandfather had three sons and several daughters. So these sons and daughters, who are my grandfather's siblings, require that I call them my "grandparents," because they belong to the same generational line as my grandfather. It's a Korean thing. So, continuing with that reasoning, my dad's cousins, or rather his uncles' children, since they belong to the same generational line as my dad, they are my uncles and aunts. And as we continue down the convoluted family tree, these uncles' and aunts' children become my cousins who can be equated as being my siblings.

The second question: why are you telling me this?

Last Night
Well, although I may be free from the clutches of my extended nuclear family, my dad's uncle lives in New York. And this grandpa has made it a mission to include me in whatever family function he has. So, here now begins my tale.

NY Grandpa's eldest grandson, W, will soon be entering college, so the family decided to throw him a going away party. I, however, was invited with a direction from NY Grandpa to impart to my young cousin, W, my experiences being a college student. In other words, I was to be a good older brother, advising him on what he should do and what he shouldn't do.

However much I tried to avoid this function, I was cornered by NY Grandpa. I could not refuse, and off I went to W's party. But what wisdom could I ever hope to impart? Sigh. Whatever. Off I went still, not to advise but to eat. Throughout the night I was doing a good job pretending to be the older brother (in a Korean sense of the word); and W did an equally impressive job pretending to be the younger brother. For a kid born in America, he's done quite well being Korean—agreeing dutifully with your elders, namely NY grandpa, even when you know how erroneous they are; acquiescing to the demands of your elders, even though you know you will not follow through if you judge a demanded activity unverifiable by the aforementioned elder. W knew how to play the game.

While we were sitting around the dining table having desserts, W was surrounded by his Aunt, J, his uncle, H, his father, me, and obviously his overbearing and clueless grandparents. At one point NY Grandpa says to W, "You know your cousin, Jacob. Look how well he turned out. As you know he graduated from C University, he went to Japan to work... He started his new job and when he got his first check, he sent it to his father." By the way, I never did. It was one of the demands made by NY Grandpa, which I dutifully agreed to do while not actually following through. Well, the barrage of praises continued, making me feel extremely embarrassed. But then he says, "Jacob is a role model. You must be like him."

...

...

Huh?

How I've managed to not laugh... Good Lord.

The act that I put on with them... I hate it, but there's no alternative. It goes against my culture; the status quo must continue.

One last thing. My American born cousin, W, said something that piqued my righteous indignation.

Aunt J (AJ): You know who your roommate's going to be?
Cousin W (CW): No, I've got a single.
Me: They gave you a single? So lucky.
AJ: Did you ask for a single?
CW: No. I filled out the form asking for a roommate.
ME: What did you say?
AJ: Did you tell them you have body odor?
CW: No! I asked for an Asian roommate.
AJ and Me: ...
AJ and Me: Why?
CW: Well, late at night when I'll get hungry, I'm gonna eat cup ramen. And white people don't like the smell of Korean food.
AJ and Me: ...

What I wanted to say was, 'why would you compromise who you are to avert some baseless rejection you may get from some white guy? He may come to like Korean food. You shouldn't assume that he'll be offended by the food.'

I don't know. Whatever.

I feel like I'm just rambling now. I'm going shut up and sign off.

Lastly, your own family, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

By the way, I found a white guy who likes Korean food so much that he has a blog dedicated to it, along with other Asian cuisines. I think he's more knowledgeable about kimchi then I am. And when it comes to Korean food, he's more Korean than I am. Let me introduce you to kimchijon of evil jungle prince. And he's a hottie.

078: It Didn't Suck

I wanted to write a long post about how much it didn't suck, but I'll keep this entry short and sweet.

There is this one watersport... Oh. My. God. I love it.

What's there not to like?

I spent nine months in amniotic fluid, so it's natural that I seek to bathe myself in saline goodness.

And I even got certified yesterday. How awesome is that?!

So, people, now I am a scuba diver. As all true divers, after they get out of the water, say when asked, "how was it?" It Didn't Suck!!!

It really didn't suck, people. It really didn't.

077: The Don't's

I rarely go to online hook-up sites, because well, the thought of hooking up with a random guy...ok, I'll be frank...scares the shit out of me.

So, a quick recap about who I am:

1. a freak
2. a dork
3. a loser
4. a loner
5. a whiner
6. a chicken shit
7. a...
   

Oh, by the way, there's a movie coming out about me. But of course Hollywood changed a few things here and there to appease the "demographics." But I digress.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. Hook-up sites. I don't know why, but today of all days, I decided to go into one, and here's what I find:

Him: hi
Him: i dont like that pic
Me: ok
Him: i dont know why many asian people put like this funny pic on it
Me: it's better than not having a picture, don't u think?
Him: well it's better having normal picture
Him: im just saying
Him: because many white people dont like asian guys
Me: ok
Him: there is % that white people look at asian people and dislike because of this funny things..
Me: what funny thing?
Him: pictures
Me: so what would you say is a proper picture?
Him: just normal pic
Me: since u can discern between what is funny and what is normal,
Me: what's normal?
Him: i think you know what i mean
Me: am i to read your mind?
Him: nevermind
Me: indeed

Mind you, it is a dorky picture of me, but I didn't know it would offend people so much.

076: My Future

Where am I headed? I'm in the twilight of my twenty-something years, and I'm still loitering. Despite the fact that I do now know where I want to go, my feet shuffle side to side, instead of moving me forward. I blame the Muses for not inspiring me to finish my application. Maybe it's because my two prior attempts have gotten me nowhere. Maybe it's because it's summer and it's just too hot to do anything. But I must press on and march on. I must. It is my dream.

In the meantime, I want to share with you all one application essay that failed to get me into a medical school. I would like to hear from you, readers, what I should have said to make me look attractive to a medical school admissions committee.

***

A cool raindrop hits my hot sweaty face, slides down my cheek only to fall to the road below that takes me through Wakayama Prefecture, Japan. I am on a journey, a bicycle journey that epitomizes my life experiences thus far. This solitary journey, with all the challenges I've wholeheartedly tackled, leaves me hungering for another, one that extends beyond myself into the realm of affecting the lives of others. Indeed, traveling across the field of medicine is vastly different from a bike ride in a foreign country. Yet, I can’t but think back on that rainy morning, feeling the same drive that energized my legs; I am looking ahead, wanting to move forward to the challenges: confronting new roads and unknown terrain, overcoming my own perceived limitations, and discovering my interdependence to the world around me.

Biking south on route 42, I discovered that I needed to take many swigs of my sports drink and take the landscape as it came. The same can be said about the field of medicine: it is full of new roads and unknown terrain that one must deal with. While rummaging through various weeklies, I came across an article. It described how scientists, using genetic engineering to combat cancer, are inserting DNA with modified viruses used as a transport into abnormal cells, wherein the cells start expressing receptors with a strong affinity for cancer drugs, or in another scenario, the cells begin the sequence of self-destruction. I can also recall a TV news report: the gay men's cancer is not really a cancer, but a new kind of viral disease transmitted through blood or sexual contact; AIDS was finally given its identity. These new roads that medicine pursued—genetic engineering, and medicine was confronted with—AIDS, inevitably have brought society and, indirectly, me as a societal member, to an unknown terrain, where we are asked to face the ramification of these developments. Dolly the cloned sheep and the mapping of the human genome, products of scientific pursuit, have increased the amount of heated debates, such as the ethicality of using new technologies. AIDS have caused various groups, even though many subscribe to a common purpose in fighting AIDS, vying for limited resources due to their vested interests. A multinational pharmaceutical company, to protect its profit margin, refusing to open its drug patents to the poor nations, that direly need a cheaper access to the drugs, is appalling just to watch. But a spectator on the sideline has little influence in deciding which roads to take; those who are in the arena can shape the unknown terrain. Needing to make a difference in society, I want to directly test and try myself in this dynamic field of medicine.

Within a few hours of cycling up a long stretch of mountain road to Yunomine, a hamlet famous for its hot spring baths, my legs tighten. Feeling uncertain about reaching my destination, I utter a Japanese word; and as soon as it leaves my mouth, the word catches me by surprise: "muri." It is a word spoken often by my high school students whenever they think they can't do a simple English activity. Even before I can finish explaining the task, at least one student pipes in, "muri," "it's impossible," he says, undermining his chances for learning and growth, satisfied with his complacency. My shock of uttering "muri" stems from realizing that at that moment I briefly reverted to my high school self, when it was easier to quit than strive. Once I handed in an incomplete AP Economics assignment with a note informing Mr. I, my teacher, that I'd bring him the rest later because, doubting my ability to answer satisfactorily, I gave up. That night, Mr. I had done something no other teachers had ever done: he phoned. He then lectured me about my inexcusable action, continuing that if I had problems, I should have had gone to him for help. His stern yet caring words revealed that, because of doubts about my abilities and fear of asking for assistance, I was indeed denying myself a chance to learn and hampering my potential to grow. The obstacles of my creation are always going to confront me, but being in the midst of these personal struggles, the struggles that give me the awareness and sensitivity to see the similar frailties in others, makes me a stronger person and lets me be a better advocate. As I am trying to inspire my students to break down barriers they've built, I hope to champion my patients' needs and interests.

It's day six, the last day of my road trip. "20km," the road sign reads, to my final destination. As I follow the Arida River downstream, I absorb the view of mandarin grove on the other side of the bank. I reflect back on the last six days, on my stay in Japan, and on my life, treasuring especially the moments I've had with individuals. From the bed-and-breakfast owner, who needed my help taking a reservation from foreign travelers, to M, my student, who, feeling down about her future and needing someone with a similar experience to talk to, came to me, they have all given me a gift. E, a man I chanced upon in Uganda, whose rotting foot was amputated, shares that, as his stump has turned gangrenous, the leg needs cutting off. E, a man who, I believed, needed my comfort, breaks the silence—the one I created while searching desperately for words to give him strength—and with a hardy laugh, assures me, 'I will return to my field when it's all finished and I am happy.' E, then, thanks me saying my listening ears were like medicine. All these people have taught me that I am a social creature who craves to touch and, in return, be touched. I've learned that, in exchange of what I give of myself, I unexpectedly gain much more. I hope this discovery of interdependence will continue throughout my lifetime; I hope to be a physician who gives all he can for the welfare of others.

A friend has once told me that a doctor is a teacher, student, advocate, counselor, but most importantly a healer. His word rings true to me now. A doctor must confront new roads and unknown terrain to learn and to educate. A doctor must overcome his limitations to empathize with others, allowing for genuine counseling and advocacy. But a doctor must, to be a true healer, discover his interdependence to his patient; so he heals, not just a person's physical wound, but also the spirit. Now the sun is setting. The cherry blossoms that only six days ago were buds have fully flowered. The white petals are snowing down on me, hailing my triumphant return, as I dismount my bicycle. After taking a big gulp from the nearly empty 2-liter bottle of Pocari Sweat, I take deep breaths to smell the sweet fragrance of success.

***

Now, on to the new essay... But first, I need a nap.

075: I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today

Well... Well... Well...

Brian:
I'm not wearing underwear today,
No, I'm not wearing underwear today,
Not that you probably care,
Much about my underwear,
Still none the less i gotta say,
That I'm not wearing underwear today!

(Tepid claps)

Christmas Eve:
Get a Job!

Brian:
Thank you. Honey.

- Avenue Q

I don't know how I should begin... Well, firstly, it should be the case where one's sexuality is like Brian telling the world, "I'm not wearing underwear today." It's something, but not everything. Secondly, people should be more like Christmas Eve. They should only care about what really matters about the other. Like Brian needing to "get a job."

I don't know how to continue... Maybe it was the bottle of wine we shared during dinner, but I finally revealed to my friend, E, yesterday, about my blog. I've known E since freshman year in college; she also went to my high school, but we didn't know each other then. (Okay, that's not important.) What's important is that if you've checked out my long ass list and read number 21, you'd know what's important. Now she knows. And I really don't know how I feel. The emotion can, maybe, be described as relief... That...maybe...is what I felt, at first. But when she IMed this afternoon to let me know she read hyphenated non-IDentity and thought it a very good read, I had the following sequence of thoughts:

Okay.

(The mind blanks)

Okay.

(A longer blank)

Oh, shit! — OMG!OMG!OMG! — What have I done???

(Pause)

Okay.

(Pause: Synapses in the brain firing furiously)

I'll tell her that hyphenated non-IDentity is all an elaborate scheme my feeble mind formulated, so that I seem like an interesting writer.

"E, I've never told you, but I want to be a writer, you see..." Yeah, that's what I'll say. "I'm not REALLY gay." Continuing, "I decided, as a literary gimmick, that it'll be interesting to write in a POV of a closeted gay guy coming out."

"I'm not gay." (Short pause) "Ha ha ha." — That's what I'll say.

But instead I IM her back, telling her that I'm too busy to chat. And thank goodness that I was indeed busy.

I don't know how to end this post... The sky hasn't fallen; the earth hasn't torn apart. Life, my life, goes on. I've taken a chance and gotten naked. I'm slowly letting my past know my present for a chance of a better future. One by one, they'll hear me. And each time I share my voice, my soul will tremble, in fear and in excitement.

E, if you're reading this, just know that I'm still me. Nothing has changed. I'm still the same whiny, selfish, annoying guy you've always known. Now, you have a better understanding of who I am. When you IMed me to say that we should have a coming out party, that alone... your words meant a world to me. Thank you.

074: Have You Ever..?

...read something that resonated with you, where your soul vibrates in perfect harmonics, like a single pure note sung in a cavernous cathedral, that if you listen carefully you hear its third and fifth, creating an enchanted chord. Stunned by its beauty, captivated by its purity, you pause to revel in its serenity. You must lock it up in your heart to keep for all eternity, for if ever you find yourself in spiritual poverty, the words strung together elevate you to richness, empowering you, sustaining you, changing you. Words are indeed powerful.

Now, the blogs in my blogroll at one time another resonated with me, hence they are in my blogroll. But I must admit that I haven't read all their entries, except a very few. Dogpoet is one that I've read every post. If you've been following my blog, you should know that I'm totally in awe of him; in fact, I think I've a crush on him, and I haven't even met him. Anyways, he blogrolled me! Thank you, Michael. Also, he's been blogging more frequently these days, so I'm ecstatic. Evilbuddha is another blog that I've read completely. Again, I've never met him. He seems cool enough... Whatever, I think he is totally cool. If I had an older brother, I'd love to have someone like him, no, rather, I'd love to have him as one. Mainly because I want his life. Yeah, you heard me Davis. By the way, he blogrolled me, too. Thank you, Davis.

So, I've resolved to read completely everyone's blog on my list. Be warned bloggers, after I finish reading your past entries, I may fall head over heels for you, and you may have to content yourselves with this stalker. He he he. Larry and Rich, just to let you guys know, I've been following your blogs for awhile, but I haven't read through your archives, so you're it! And if you didn't know already, I'm totally in love with you. Ha ha ha.

By the way, bloggers, how do you guys decide who'd be in your blogroll?

073: Le Silence Terminé

It's been a little bit more than a year since my arrival to this land of opportunity, where streets are paved with gold, where your American dreams are fulfilled everyday. It's been a little bit more than a year having lived already in three different places in America and mostly apart from Mom.

Now, I am at my fourth residence under my aunt's roof; my father's little sister graciously has taken me in until Mom finds a decent place for us to live. Yet, it is here, in Washington state, with my tenth birthday soon approaching, when my aunt, who rarely has been home, who hardly ever has spoken to me, comes in to my room, her hand touching my knee, her eyes leveled to mine, letting me know my birthday this year would just come and go, no fanfares, no celebrations, just because her religion forbids it. "Do you understand?" she asks.

Holding her gaze, I nod—it’s not as if I expected a party: my cousins' birthdays were passed by with scarcely a mention, too. Yet. Still. I just keep nodding. Without a peep. My face, a blank. Silence.

Please note, though, that this isn’t about me griping about a birthday party I never had. No, it’s not. It’s just that, then and for a while, I…swallowed a lot of sorrows, even the little joys, and found my expression in a stone cold face and…ever growing silence.

In two months time, I fly over the majestic mountains, the broad prairies, the mighty Mississippi, landing in…Newark International, rejoining Mom, regaining my life, here in New York. But I am carrying to my new home, as I discovered, a load heavier than my bags in the trolley. The joyous event, or rather what should have been one, turns out awkward. The hugs and kisses, the barrage of questions, the comments about how big I’ve gotten, they all are for me; Mom’s expressions of her love for her son. Yet I can’t break my silence. I don’t know what to say, how to say… I just can’t. Get. The. Words. Out.

I crash. After two weeks of spending the majority of the 24-hour day asleep, I finally awake from my silence. A one-word answer becomes a phrase; a phrase becomes a complete sentence; a sentence to a full speech. I’ve regained my voice.

You see, I am not writing this for your sympathy. All of us have had at least one moment of hardship, a trial we endured and, hopefully, overcame. This little one is mine. I am writing with a joyful heart, knowing that my voice is heard. Who’d have thunk that this once muted boy is being heard?! Every day, I’m finding streets paved with gold and I’m fulfilling my dreams little by little. And it is good. Perhaps all this could be said more eloquently and poignantly; perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. But still, it is good.

Because you see, now, my sorrows, my joys, my fears, my hopes… they all find expression in my voice.

Le silence terminé.

072: Have You Ever..?

...ever...been a...mute? Yeah, you heard me, a mute.

SITE UPDATE

How do you like my new look?

***

I had some little trouble with haloscan. I hope this works.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

***

I give up. Haloscan is not working. I tried their "automatic install wizard" several times and even tried cutting and pasting; and it's just not working. Any ideas?

***

By the way, this new "look" looks ugly on internet explorer. Damn it. Whatever. Use firefox, people.

071: Have You Ever..?

...found yourself in a moment of total..."nothingness," where your mind finds a slow fade into white; where all your sensory neurons stop sensing, your motor neurons stop...motoring; where no past, present, and future matter; where the world you know ceases to exist; where your ego, superego, and id remain silent? Have you ever experienced complete and total annihilation, without resorting to say that it's akin to a near-death experience, rather it's more metaphysical, Zen-like, if you will... So, have you? Ever?

No?

Me, neither.

070: ハードゲイ

Pronounced: HAADO GEI

Translation: (Can you take a guess?) Hard Gay

"What?" you ask.

I'm equally dumbfounded as well... But I couldn't pass this one up. You have to check it out. It's the gayest thing EVER. (Let me quote Addaboy and say,) *TRUST*

ハードゲイ(via transbuddha)

ほんまオモロいで。

069: Mischief Accomplished?

When you think that you can't possibly out do Janet Jackson and her wardrobe malfunction, my Korean brethrens have one up the pop diva. And everyone reacts pragmatically as Koreans are known to do... Right.

These are the facts (and my side comments):

• On Saturday MBC, a major television network in Korea, airs a live show called "Music Camp," a show popular with teens.
• A segment called, "Is This Song Good," showcases an underground band. (In a K-Pop infested music landscape, this is a step in the right direction.)
• The band featured to perform is RUX, a punk rock band recommended by five music experts.
• RUX had invited another punk group, Couch, to perform alongside them as dancers. (Why a punk rock group would need dancers, I have no idea.)
• During a music interlude, two members of Couch, Oh and Shin—only their family names are released—come onto center stage and start dancing.
• Oh and Shin have their faces painted (reminiscent of KISS).
• At 4:15, Korean television viewers are treated to a scene that scandalizes the entire nation.
• Yes, for about four to five seconds, Koreans are treated to two full monties. (Fucking awesome!)

• MBC issues an apology, repeatedly, during the remainder of the show, with apology messages streaming across the screen like some breaking news.
• MBC issues an apology on its website.
• MBC issues an apology during its nightly national news hour.

Now for the fun facts:

• A pair of willies incenses the Korean public.
• The public complains (wah-wah-wah) with phone calls, emails, letters, (pitches and forks).
• Because the public bombards MBC website with countless complaints, the server shuts down temporarily.
• Some demand MBC be punished, because apologies aren't enough. (Cries of "Hang 'em, hang 'em!" reverberate across that small PENInSular nation.)
• Some ask "how MBC proposes to compensate teenagers for the emotional shock they sustained." (Um... I'll just let that sit.)
• Oh and Shin are arrested. (Well, sure, a country that pixelates their porns, showing the genitalia is a big You-Think-You-Won't-Get-In-Trouble?)
• Oh and Shin are tested for drug use. (Because only drug fiends do that sort of thing.)
• The test results come out NEGATIVE for drug use.
• But the authority is not satisfied, therefore THE AUTHORITY SENDS SAMPLES OF THEIR HAIR TO THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF SCIENTIFIC INVESTIGATION FOR FURTHER DRUG TESTING.
  
• MBC cancels and takes "Music Camp" out of the air for good.
  
• The Korean Broadcasting Commission, the nation’s broadcasting regulator, announces on Monday that it would take more than a week before deciding on the proper punishment for the network. (Burn 'em, Burn 'em.)

Here are the news links: here, here, here, and here.

"I can show my dick, but not my face."

Addendum (2 Aug, 2005)
The comedy continues:

• The mayor of Seoul, Lee Myung-bak, on Monday, suggests the city make a blacklist of artists that will be excluded from Seoul City events, targeting those in the Hongdae area, an area known in Seoul for its vibrant underground, indie music scene. (Um... fascist!)
  
• Members of the musican community in the Hongdae area hold a news conference, to apologize for the action of the two flashers, but also to warn that the incident should not be used to condemn the entire indie culture, and to call on MBC to reinstall "Music Camp." (The most sensible thing anyone or group has done and said so far.)

It's all here and here.